So many times I have been the victim of the accusation of having my life together.
My current guilty pleasure is sitting in front of my fan legs spread wide, right after my shower because that’s the only time I won’t be sweating and fucking hot.
My kids are amazing in public, but I yell at them every day for the same shit.
I am counting down the days they leave my house, I can’t wait.
I just took a swig out of the Grey Goose bottle at 4pm..
My life isn’t together AT ALL!
I haven’t combed my hair in days, and I don’t care.
Every single mantra I have for living in the moment and respecting the journey can all go somewhere and die because I can’t.
I can’t adult.
I can’t people.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t exist.
Seriously, I CAN’T.
I can’t even have a period right.
That’s right, I have somehow been living the last four months with no period.
The doctors can’t figure it out either, so yea.
I am doing my therapy….I lay on the couch and just look at him menacingly because I can’t speak.
I am obviously going through some sort of transformation again,
so I’m losing my shit again, like I always do every fucking year.
I can’t even feel things deeply anymore, I think I’ve broken my feeler.
I have scrolled by so many ugly things on Facebook I am numb to it all.
I used to get so invested in others problems, I couldn’t help it.
I scroll through that shit like I’m spinning the wheel on the Price is Right.
I just don’t feel like I used to.
I mean I still care but I don’t cry about anything anymore.
Although, I might cry right now because this is kinda sad.
*couldn’t even fake a tear…shrugs*
SO now what do I do with all of my unfeeling?
Sigh, I don’t know….imma tell my therapist and see what he says.
I’m sure I won’t even care anyway